Feeling crook.

I’m tired, dog tired.
Everyone is telling me to chill out. Fat Chance.
De-stress by removing all that is bugging you. OK everyone in the UK OUT!
Pain. Some of you know pain. Unremitting for a month.
Finally I go see the doc.
Hospital, cameras where cameras shouldn’t go. Result, negative.
Should be good but no one can explain the pain.
Back to docs, standard thing, antibiotics. Cipro, and I KNOW ex-mil know about that.
Result, same pain.
Back to doc. Pee in bottle. Result negative.
Surprising after 10 days of Cipro (not)
Help offered? Nil
Still pain.
Sleep? 1-3 hours a day.
Phone line to doc, you must relax, take OTC pain medication, cuddle a hot water bottle, take a hot bath? I live in a boat! So no bath then? Idiot.
Pain.
4am, I’ve just got to sleep, dog wants out.
Call me old fashioned but I won’t let wife tread the pontoons at night, too dangerous.
Up, dressed, walk, scoop shit, come home, loads of pain.
More meds, codeine.
Christ what I’d give for an armful of morphine.
45 minutes have passed, numb.
Try bed?
What’s to bet the dog is on the bed, my side.
De-stress? You’re joking.

Aw sh’t, need a pee.
Then bed.
Up at 7am, docs again.
Wonder what excuse he’ll give this time for no help.
De-stress and keep civil? Little chance of that.

BUT WAIT!
0623 woke up, tried to make it to the bathroom, WHAM!
Pain gone stupid level 11.
0645 wake SWMBO. Need help luv!
0715 in hospital A&E (note that time, the place was empty).
They start pouring fluids into me.
They ran everything they could, bloods (a gallon I guess), ultrasounds, CAT scan, prodded, pushed, weighed! Apparently for a person my build and age, I’m the right weight.
Pee in bottle please
And finally some real juice.
Didn’t work.
Wait, LONG wait, different juice, Wheeeeeeee!
No pain.
5 hours later everything looks negative (which is good).
Possible reason for pain? First answer, dunno.
What’s today’s fad, craze, or new idea? Second answer.
Yep, I’ve got a gluten intolerance.
WTH is that and how can it appear after so many years?
Umm, you are old now, things change.
Thereafter whatever goes bad from now on “SEE YOUR GP!”
I escaped ASAP.

Except when SWMBO was told I had to change my eating habits the incredulous look I got was a picture! What she dishes up now is so carefully balanced and controlled (Slimming World), a fly wouldn’t dare fly close to a plate in fear of being vaporized. I’ve never eaten so controlled a diet made from fresh everything and she’s just been told I have to change my eating habits!!!

world-popsAnd that’s just the language.

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9 Responses to Feeling crook.

  1. shtfprepper says:

    I’m on my 3rd pain pill at 1232am. Going to get my fourth in a few minutes. I feel for you.

  2. DM says:

    I had a friend who was diagnosed with that last year…..same scenario…. same diagnosis. (he is in his early 40’s and it suddenly showed up) does not sound like fun. Hopefully, with your change in menu, the pain will disappear. Keep us posted….how long have you been dealing with it? (couple of weeks/ month/ several months?) DM

  3. His and hers menus are off the menu. Process of elimination.

  4. gamegetterII says:

    Gluten intolerant? Utter bullsh*t.
    Less than 1% of the population is truly gluten intolerant.

    Hope you feel better soon.
    Have a laugh about the brilliant diagnoses of ” gluten intolerance”

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