I think therefore I know

An Intellectual in trouble again.

Our pet one is like a bull in a china shop.
Rush, thump, never thinking, just doing, and consequently breaks almost everything.
Only today it was himself.
There’s a couple of things you never do on a boat.
Run around, and JUMP onto the edge of a boat and not expect it to tilt!
So he does both.
Runs to the end of his boat, leaps onto the gunwale (side step) and launches himself onto the boat.
The boat reacts accordingly and tilted quickly and violently.
SLAM, onto the deck he went yelling like a banshee as his ankle had turned over and something popped. (Funny that, I didn’t know intellectuals could swear so fluidly).

I wanted to clap, SWMBO stopped me, and Mr. Intellectual ignored our voices of “Are you all right”. So we thought nothing about it, apart from sniggering at his pain, and yes I’ll never go to heaven!

Later we get a knock and it’s our friend a couple of boats away asking if I still had my crutches. Nope, long gone, sticks are my weapons of choice nowadays.
So Mr. Intellectual decides to stand there gabbing off about the First Aid acronym RICE in full authoritative lecture mode.

RICE?

  • REST the injury?
    Nope he wanted to stand there and try to impress us all by his knowledge.
  • ICE the injury?
    Nope no ice but he might put his ankle into cold water later.
  • COMPRESSION?
    Strap up the ankle to stop swelling and the ankle locking up.
    Don’t be silly I used to turn my ankle regularly when I was a boy, he’s 80 (ish) now.
  • ELEVATE the injury?
    Nope, he’d rather talk about his youthful exploits climbing hills.

aka I know what it is in the books but I’m too superior to need to follow it.

I’ve no time for fools and neither has my friend.
So I stopped his tale and offered to transport him to A&E as he was completely non load bearing, and he exploded.

Nice one and guaranteed to get my help is doing that (not).

My reaction.
There is no helping people who won’t be helped, especially intellectuals.
Soooo, in words of one syllable I said, “See you later” and left.
Thinking but not saying “Sod you then, suffer”.
I left my friend stood there shaking his head listening to the idiot relating a hiking trip he did 60 years before with a broken ankle.

Later I’m on the way out and my friend calls me over.
We’re both cut from the same cloth and his comment was “What a prat” and “He doesn’t take advice well does he?” Still we saw him hopping round his boat still not load bearing, ankle now twice as big as it should be, and my friends rather loud comment was “That looks sore 🙂  🙂 ” Funny enough Mr. Intellectual chose not to answer him.

We of course went into:
rotglman

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2 Responses to I think therefore I know

  1. jlm990 says:

    On one of my sites, an employee had a self induced medical emergency. I had to get the data from the EMT and while chatting I asked him how he liked his job. He answered “Great except for one thing” “What I asked” he replied ” We are forced to interfere with the law of natural selection. Most of these idiots should have died off a long time ago”. I nodded in complete understanding.

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