Hello Chosen Few.

You’re probably curious why I’ve shut down general access to the site.
We’re having a crisis here which is majorly affecting our lives.

People and government are forcing us to change our way of life.
It’s a time of high stress and emotions which is causing ‘problems’.

High emotion on an open ‘forum’ is stupid. That in itself can caused extra problems.
Anyway I still need a release and somehow after all these years, a diary just doesn’t cut it for me. Besides I burned old ones a few years ago.

So, what’s happening?
Di lost it today big time. I don’t blame her.
Throwing her toys around is a release, a safety valve.
Not one she does often and a gauge of how up tight she is.

Still I let her and it did her good.
Scared the hell out of ‘neighbours’ but why the hell should we worry about sheeple anyway.
After all she has a lot to cope mainly that’s my current mindset.

I’m once again fighting my old Nemesis combat stress and losing.
You know that 40 point list the shrinks ask you about combat stress.
My score today (Di’s assessment of me) was 37/40. (It normally sits around 12).
She’s good like that, doesn’t say much, just drops the notepad in front of me.
Ordinarily it’s a wake up call. A defuse mechanism that works.

Still I’ve no suicidal thoughts, no drug misuse, or crying.
BUT, bless her, she is trying to stop me ‘reacting’ to events.

So mysteriously, the keys to the tools of my trade have ‘gone missing’.
Which is winding me up even more as steel calms me.
Steel never inflames my mind.

Last night I was out night walking.
Looking for a ‘release’. Luckily I found nothing to engage.
Not good.
Ever noticed that the angrier you get the less physical pain niggles at you?
Anger is simmering well thus I’m feeling no pain.
So, no meds, a clear head, and just angry.

All the signs are there. I know it, Di knows it.
Problem is I really don’t give a flying fk. who finds out the hard way.

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2 Responses to Hello Chosen Few.

  1. shtfprepper says:

    Whatever it takes to move your mind & body to a neutral state for longer periods of time sounds like a grand idea. Hoping for the best for all 3 of you.

    • Thanks friend.
      Having spent a few hours cleaning and putting 24 within an inch at 50 yards, Yep, I was well chilled.

      Then Di had to go to see her consultant. He arrived 40 minutes late, no apology, spoke down to her, and I exploded.

      No harm, just ‘colourful’ words, but that’s all it took.
      I’ll start again tomorrow. 🙂

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